Sunday, 31 March 2013

Getting excited as the 'special one' gets here tomorrow night with his mate. Then the fun begins (only hope my liver can hold out!!)

Went to the old town yesterday with Thelma. and her friend, did the spice & gold souks.
We visited my favourite shop!!! (Where I get my jewllery from!) I LOVE that place!!
Thelma and I persuaded J to buy herself a gorgeous diamond ring (after we had all tried on virtually every ring in the shop!)
I have got a few ideas for my birthday much to H's dismay. (Love you sweetie!!)
It was like 3 little kids being let loose in a sweet shop.
The guys in the shop are amazing and how's this?..... We were discussing the best way for J to pay for her ring (as she hadn't budgeted for spending that much here on gifts) and the guy in the shop said she could take the ring and then pay me next week via transfer when she got back to UK and then I could take the money in next week!!!
Can just see that happening in a shop at home. Anyway 'flexible friend' came in useful!

We were still at old town when H finished work so he picked us up and then he and I went to Carrefour to pick up a few bits, well we saw a man in a dishdash with his 'lady', well she wasn't in local dress and she had tight jeans and small top on. I can only assume he didn't want her covered up so we could all see how much he had spent on her!!!!
Bum implants (absolutely ridiculous), boob implants (too big), facial cheek implants (much the same as the bum - too big and weird shape) , botoxed to b***ery and a trout pout!!
The whole look must have cost a fortune but made her look like a bizarre characature of a woman!!! Why oh why do people do this to themselves? I don't expect there was an inch on her that hadn't been tweaked, lifted or filled!

Went to pub last night to watch footie and there were about 20 very happy chappies as West Ham came away with a much needed win.

Bye for now, have to get ready for lunch!

Friday, 29 March 2013

Hi All,

Back in the swing of things as far as going out is concerned and our run of visitors starts on Monday so will be out virtually permanently for the next 2 months!!! So should have plenty of fodder to write about.

Monday I went to one of my boozy lunches + we had 4 'newbies' come along, 3 I knew + one I didn't but do now! Unfortunately had such a nice time I forgot to eat much however same couldn't be said of the prossecco, so fell asleep when I got home + woke up at 8 to a very hungry H waiting for his dinner... Oops!

Thelma had a friend arrive on wednesday so we took her to the new Marriott hotel last night (Thursday) for drinks - it boasts the tallest bar in the world (in a hotel) on the 71st floor. However having been to the 123rd floor bar in Burj Khalifa, felt a bit blase really. It was ok but as with most new places here, it lacked a bit of atmosphere but we shall see.
The new girl I met on monday joined us with her husband + they fitted in with us really well + meant H had some male company as Brad + Louise were away for weekend. H looked like he was out with the Witches of Eastwick as Thelma, J and I all had black dresses on!

We moved on to Cavalli at 11 and had a good time there people watching. As usual here there was much hair flicking and pouting of fat lips. Both Thelma and I were flicked many times by a Russian blonde pony tail - she was working very hard last night, I never thought before how hard these 'ladies' have to work if they have been bought for the evening/night. I always thought 'easy money', being taken out all evening and the hard part would be 'doing the deed' when you get back to their room but no..... You have to flick and pout all night, look amazed and interested at everything that the prat is saying, dance and grind and drink everything that is given to you and still ' do the business' at about 4 in the morning instead of just crashing out!! I felt exhausted just watching it last night (the pre-deed, obviously didn't see the rest!! Lol)

Omg! As we left Cavalli guess what was parked outside?
A real silver Rolls Royce!!! Its not unusual to see flash cars here but that was unbelievable!!! It was number plate 1 from Saudi!
Am really excited as my eldest boy is out on Monday with his mate and it will be their first over 21 visit! (To those who do not know you can't go to clubs and lots of bars unless you are over 21 here) I think H and I will be knackered trying to keep up!! I shall call my eldest 'the special one' from here on in as I think his ego will like that! Lol
Any way best go now and try and catch up on more zzz's as we had a very late one.
Love Jane

Have spent a nice weekend at Atlantis hotel but if I see another fat Russian man in speedos or Russian woman with fake boobs and fat lips I think I will go mad!!
Saw a lady of the night (obviously paid for an all-nighter) in the lift lobby in all her finery asking where to get a cab from.
Was pleasantly surprised at Atlantis as I thought with the hotel being so big the staff would not be very attentive or happy but they were really good.
H was going for it in a big way on the beer so only lasted till midnight at Ndulge the nightclub! However I think that was just as well as we wanted to get breakfast in and use the pool facilities.

We went to a Help for Heroes fund raiser at the British Embassy on Friday night. It was held in their garden which was nice. I have never been out here and been so sober though! (Yes you did read right, sober!) They had beer, wine or sparkling rose available, but they ran out of rose at 9.30!!! So it was Coke for me from then on!!

I was a bit disappointed that there were not more military at the do (yes we all like a uniform!!). I felt they really missed an opportunity to make more money by have 'young men' in their uniforms waiting tables etc instead of people that couldn't even speak english! H asked for a beer and got a blank look so he pointed to the menu and still got a blank look! So the waiter kept his finger on the word 'beer' and took it to the bar! (Bit of a joke really having people serve drinks that don't
know the word beer)

I came up with a few good ideas such as having a full monty type thing using our boys from home etc but when I tried to pass some of these ideas on to one of the organisers I was told ' you take it on! I raised £187,000 last year and I'm stepping down so you do better!' Ouch!! Think she must have been stressed!
Anyway they did an amazing job and raised over £200,000 (I think) so that
was fabulous for such a good cause.

The real blight on the night though was the really rude ignorant b******s who were sat behind us. When the speeches were on they talked and laughed the whole way through - bad enough in normal situations but when someone is talking about young people having arms and legs blown off and all you can hear is laughter its really inappropriate. TT, D and me gave them lots of glares which did stop some of it but unfortunately not all.

Thanks to all the amazing 'big spenders' that were there. And also to all of us 'little spenders' too, the H4H coffers are fuller than they were.
Bye for now
Hi there,
Had a fairly quiet thursday at Movenpick and Girders - I think really when I say quiet I probably mean cheap!! As at the Movenpick its happy hour till 9 and Girders is reasonable but big measures.
Met a guy (angry Rob- don't ask me?!) Who we had met at brunch befor I went home but he wasn't having it!! I had to show him our facebook picture as he didn't believe we had all met before - he only remembered Louise - not sure what that says about H, Thelma and myself lol.

Friday went to Taste of Dubai, didn't think it was that great so we just nabbed a picnic bench and sat in the sun drinking (no change there I hear you saying!). It is held on a grassed area and is a bit like a grown up school fete. The outfits of many women were un believable! I know here anything goes but come on ladies it wasn't brunch so why the 6 inch heels and party outfits - looks ridiculous!
We saw the most amazing bum implants! No size 0 woman could have a bum that sticky outy and such a funny shape naturally! I can say it was the most hideous sight!

As it was St Patricks coming up everywhere was holding celebrations (why? I don't get why its such a big deal everywhere you go in the world!)

We just went Barasti saturday as usual for sundowners.
As you know from previous blogs you do see some unusual sights here and our favourite say is 'Only in Dubai' well, it happened again at Barasti on saturday.
I went to the loo 3(one of many visits!!)
As I came out and was walking back to our table what should I see??? A flippin great big Leprachaun!! (It was actually a gut called Paddyman who sings at all the Irish bars here) he had been entertaining all the people on the beach all day as they had family day for st pats. He looked absolutely exhausted! I had just stopped laughing to myself when a great big camel appeared..... Yes a real one! It was being led round the pool area and actually looked like it was going into the bar area?! Now that truly was an 'only in dubai' moment!
See you later,
Love Jane
Hi everyone,

Sorry for the lack of blogs but had my visit home & then been catching up with everyone and all the washing etc!
Had a great time at home, caught up with the lads, superwoman and a few friends.

Had a lovely afternoon tea at Browns in London with P (an early birthday present from P) we had a lovely time and I can highly recommend it over The Ritz far more classy. And less rushed and we were given a piece of cake to take home!
However, saw a lady of about 75 in very tight (expensive) trousers but with the worst camel toe I have ever seen. Lady, expensive shouldn't mean you should wear them! And money obviously doesn't buy class!

Looked for a wedding outfit (eldest is getting married in August), Superwoman got her dress - she looked great in it and I got a few ideas.
I then went with Vera later in the week to a shop that does loads of mother of the bride type outfits and I got a dress, jacket and hat!!! The dress is all ruched so loved the fact it covers all my lumps and bumps!
Just got shoes and bag to get now, so Harvey Nicks, here I come!
Love Jane
The next few blogs were written but I couldnt post them so they are a bit out of date but here goes anyway......

Hi All,
Well I am at the airport in the Marhaba lounge people watching which I love, as you know. It has to be said that this little hobby is great to do at the airport.
You have the couples arguing or not talking to each other, kids playing up & a general rudeness among many people abound!!
This Marhaba lounge is great, some of us can use it free of charge (type of bank account you have or credit card etc) or you can pay a charge to use it, however you would be pig sick if you pay + then there are no seats (as has been happening this morning), there are shower facilities but you can't book one at the moment as the towels haven't been delivered!!! Again great if you paid because you are on a flight to Oz or something!
Am now wondering if H is up, I left him in bed at 5 this morning! Didn't bother asking if he would take me to airport as he is so not a morning person so I just assumed I would be getting a cab & I was not wrong (this won't surprise my lads as they know I am always right! Haha)
Well going to go to gate in a moment to see you soon.
Love Jane

Saturday, 2 March 2013


Had an uneventful Thursday night with not much to see on the people watching front but we weren't going to be late or overdo it as we had brunch on Friday. However, as usual came home earlier than a non-brunch thursday night but ended up with H & I having a couple on the balcony so it turned into a late one anyway!

Friday came & with minutes to spare we made it to Saffron brunch at Atlantis. There were 22 people on the table but we only knew about 6, many were colleagues of Louise & their friends. Now those that know us know Yalumba is our brunch of choice but we have done Saffron a few times. It is a very big brunch with lots of food + drink stations but we always find that although the food always looks amazing it never quite lives up to the look of it. For me, I like real champagne & unfortunately the bubbles they serve is Jacobs Creek sparkly wine which is fine but not anywhere near as nice as the real thing!

It started badly when H went to get a beer but they said they weren't serving beer today! Now this seemed crazy when you think beer is one of the cheapest (use that term loosely here as no alcohol is cheap) drinks. At this brunch they have free flowing jaegermeister, mojitos made with Havana club (not cheap rum like some places), mai tai's served in mini pineapples, pina coladas served in coconuts, huge water melons with vodka in & pipettes with shots of tequila & shots of vodka (various flavours), so no beer made no sense. Anyway H had a moan to a manager & got some beers, & as later there were beers everywhere they obviously had had to give in on the 'no beer today' rule!
Now having seen the above list of alcohol served at the stations including whiskey etc & wine you can imagine the state of many people by 4!

At this brunch there are more of the young set and it has loads of people who are up there own a**e however it is great for people watching especially the women in various states of dress & undress!! Anyone who thinks living in a muslim country is difficult with all the rules needs to pop their head into a friday brunch about half an hour before it finishes!!! (Ok, maybe not in most muslim countries but certainly here!)
One of the guys on our table who is an older nice man unfortunately morphed into a photo mad crazy man, trying to get shots of all the girls in their lack of clothes which was very embarrassing - even the guys were embarrassed however he got his just desserts when leaning across the table to get a not-so-subtle cleavage shot of one girl he knocked a full glass of wine down himself!!!! So he looked like he had wet himself!

By the end of brunch I had a lovely bunch of coconuts (empty ones) on the table!
Another thing we are not so keen on at Saffron is the bouncers. I will at a later date fill you in on my top ten bouncers in Dubai because everywhere has huge array of (usually) black african bouncers that have amazing physiques & I have taken it upon myself to check these out!! Most are more than happy to show off their biceps etc & happily indulge me in a 'chat' & a squeeze (of the biceps!!!) And they usually have a very nice nature too, even when dealing with trouble & I am sure this is why we don't get a lot of aggro from drunk people in the bars here as the bouncers at home often make things worse with their attitude.
However here at Saffron they are usually very miserable, bad tempered
Eastern Europeans & they stand over you trying to hurry you out as you are finishing your drinks.
Atlantis has a nightclub called Ndulge & they have started an afternoon session for the postbrunchers so we thought it would be rude not to partake of the invitation! As it is by the waterpark they provided 'party buses' to take you from Saffron to Ndulge (Atlantis is a huge area with vast grounds). This was great with pumping music, god alone knows what all the people leaving the waterpark thought when buses were turning up at 5ish full of p***ed people falling out!

The funniest thing for us though was as we were waiting to leave the bus a car pulled up & a crowd of guys jumped out, they opened the boot & a young lad got out! Funniest thing I've seen in ages.
We enjoyed our first visit to Ndulge & it still makes me laugh after all this time that you are dancing around & drinking like it is 2 in the morning when it is only 5 in the afternoon.
We left at possibly 7ish but not really sure, we nearly 'lost' Thelma a few times on the way out as she was a bit wobbly but thank goodness H & I did 'catch' her on her the stairs!!!

I am going to assume that is enough rambling from me today and as I have to pack etc will say goodbye. I am travelling to UK tomorrow & will try to blog from there but not quite sure whether it will happen or not but will catch you all up when I get back if I don't manage to while away.
See you soon
Love Jane